| Well I havent written in here in a long time. But there have been some things on my mind and I think this would be a good chance to get them out there. Venting always makes things better.
What has been bothering me applies to many people I know, not just one or two. But people that are supposed to be close friends, but yet make no effort to keep in touch. I mean I dont expect to talk to everyone everyday, but a once in a while effort would be nice. I feel like I can count the number of people I would have lost touch with over the last year had I not made a conscience effort to call them or have some form of contact. That makes me wonder why bother? It is obvious that they are not thinking of me or wondering how I am doing, and even if they do think in passing, they do not care enough to inquire and find out.
Athens is a small town. I know it is hard for me to go anywhere that requires a drive, but it is always worth meeting uptown somewhere even for alittle while, just to say hello and spend sometime together. And for a long time I felt guilty... I felt guilty if I didnt make a good enough effort to keep in touch with them. I ignored the fact that it is just as easy for them to pick up the phone or even type a short message on the computer. I felt guilty that I wasnt making enough of an effort. But when I think about it.. I did make some effort. Maybe I could have done more- no one is perfect- but looking back on the year, I have made an effort, as small as it may be, I made an attempt.
As for people I consider great friends, but perhaps they dont live in Athens: Well who knows when I would see them or talk to them if I didnt call. I went almost a whole quarter without talking to my supposed best friend this past year. Thats with me trying to call repeated times. I was sick for a while...granted it was mono, so it wasnt like i was on my deathbed or anything, but still a simple "how you feeling?" call would have been nice. I was even in the same city for 2 weeks...no one at home made an effort to stop by and say hi. Had it been the opposite, I would have gone out of my way. And I dont by any means expect life to stop for me. I am normally very busy myself, but there is no excuse to be too busy to visit with a friend, for whatever reason. I actually, once I was feeling better, went out of my way to visit her at her new townhouse. And yes, she did call while I was home- but it was only to vent about a particular situation she was in, and I was the only one far enough removed from the situation to vent to. "oh yea, and how are you feeling?" Yea, thats real sincere.
I know what you are probably thinking, I should bring this up... nothing will be solved if I dont tell this person, or all of these people for that matter, how I feel. In this particular case, and a few otherse that I can imagine, its because I spend such little time with them, I'm afraid of wasting more time on a fight...and yes I know it will turn into a fight because this kind of stuff always does. Even worse, I'm a terrible argue-er.
But despite everything, I really appreciate those people that do try to keep in touch. those people who truly understand that the phone works 2 ways and that their lives and accomplishments, achievements, jobs etc are important to me, and that I am grateful for their care and concern about mine. Those are the people I truly appreciate and love. Those people that prayed for me and a speedy recovery when I was sick, the really sweet note on my bedroom door when I returned to school, the apoligetic phone call when someone hadnt called in only a few weeks, the concern someone has for me and my health although I barely know him, a close friend/neighbor/coworker who lent me her shoulder when I needed to cry... these are the things I keep in my thoughts and in my heart because in the end these are the people that count. And for everyone else, you all mean so much to me too. I just wish that I meant as much to you as you all do to me. But for whatever reason you dont choose or think to coorespond, whether its self involvement in your own world, the fast paced busy life, or even another outside influence.. whatever reason- I'm sorry...but I guess people come in and out of our lives all the time. I'll take with me those great moments, lessons, memories and times together.
To everyone who has been an continuing part of my life but I did not mention specifically, you know who you are and I love you all very much. I did not mean to not include you all, but the things you all do to make my life alittle brighter are too numerous to list. But like I said, you all know who you are and I am going to try and make an even greater effort to make sure you know how much the little stuff makes a big difference in my life. Thank you.
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The whole trip out west..getting tooooo close to some wild Elk but getting some magnificent pictures...whats wrong with risking your life for some great photography? its called sacrficing body for art. Having Bruce come visit... bringing home way tooo much fudge from the fudgery. The O's game w Bruce and Brad, having Bruce come back after his poor car died- R.I.P. '94 purple truck. Ricks boat on the 4th, Duclaws w Sara, Rick and Derrick, Lobster night, Crab night...